Monday, October 24, 2011

Back Issues - Marvel UK's "Mys-Tech Wars"

All of the issues have wrap-around covers, if you're into that sort of thing.

 In my second post on this website I talked about "Warheads" - the Marvel UK title from the early '90s that I found really enjoyable. In the comments section for the same post I mentioned I might buy the "Mys-Tech Wars" mini series (by Dan Abnett and Bryan Hitch) that was billed as the whole UK line's big event. Well, I did buy it. It's just 4 issues. It was cheap and easily available, just like "Warheads". It was also fuckin' terrible.
But since the Marvel UK stuff is basically uncharted waters in the comics internet I figured I might as well say something about it.

The story is... ehh... the story is that the Mys-Tech corporation pretty much made a replica of planet Earth and they want to use it as a sort of voodoo doll. What they do to the replica happens to the real Earth. They also unleash a crapload of demons and guys with big guns on the planet. The heroes (both British and American) go to London to fight them. Pretty much everybody dies and, well, I figure I'll just show you some of it so you can see for yourself... There's not much of a plot, mainly action and loads of cheap death and disfigurment. Here:

Nick Fury is the first to find out about the whole evil scheme and the first one to die. They put him into some sort of cube that tears the skin and guts off of him. And also leaves him disturbingly pantless. Don't look!

Spider-Man only appears for like 5 panels and gets taken out like a chump by some nondescript demon, his heart torn out. Like many of the deaths in this horrific event, it feels really stupid. It was probably meant to show us how serious the threat is but it fails and makes the reader question just what the hell were the writers thinking here. It's supposed to be shocking and tragic but it's just tacky and shitty.

Like many others in this thing, Cyclops gets killed with one shot...

"Oh Jean... not again..."

...which makes Jean Grey so damn depressed she puts a giant gun to her face and kills herself. BAVAM! Totally rad!

Psylocke gets half her face shot off and walks around like that for the rest of this fiasco. And it goes on and on and on.... People show up only to get killed in the next panel. Nobody does anything cool, it's just a really bad, boring mess. All action & no suspense or anything worthwhile.

"Fascinating. Yadda yadda..."

After the surviving heroes finally come up with a deus ex machina and save the day (pretty much turning back the time 24 hours, with only a select few people remembering what happened), we get a scene with this "mysterious all-powerful entity" type of bloke. He watches it from beyond and admits that Earth doesn't suck as much as he thought it does. I've never heard of this beardy man or saw him anywhere else, but who cares, he's here.
That's all. At least it was really cheap. I keep telling myself that...
Steer clear of this thing.

*       *       *

BONUS CONTENT! More Mys-Tech Wars bang for your buck!

Try doing that with your teeth. While talking. I dare you. Hitch may be a well respected artist now and it seems he sure came a long way. Apparently back then he never heard of lips, cause a lot of characters in this mini series sport that same hideously toothy grin. It looks like they're zombies or something.

What the--?!  :O

The Uncanny X-Men's futuristic hot drink machine.

Comics. Mys-Tech Wars. Shit. 

No comments:

Post a Comment